


You're still the one

by babyliss12



Category: Formula E RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Antonio taking care of Robin, Boys In Love, But He's Also A Good Friend, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Jev is just done, M/M, Robin needs to learn to talk about his feelings, Sam Is a Good Friend, Sappy, Sick Robin, Sickfic, Sleepy Cuddles, alternative 2020 season, gracious use of pet names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:08:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29802714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyliss12/pseuds/babyliss12
Summary: Based on the prompt Person B catches a cold so Person A makes them breakfast in bed.In other words, Robin has the flu, Antonio takes care of Robin and Jev thinks he's surrounded by idiots.
Relationships: António Félix da Costa/Robin Frijns
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	You're still the one

**Author's Note:**

> Did I want to focus on one of my recent WIP'S - maybe. Did my brain decide to finish this after it's been sat in my WIP folder for months - yes 
> 
> When inspiration strikes I guess.....  
> This takes place in the break after Morocco 2020 – Covid doesn’t exist just pretend it’s a regular-season break or something – Robin and Antonio have been together for about 6 months, it’s not known by the public but the drivers know

Antonio frowned as he watched Robin from where he was standing in the airport. The dutchman was sat apart from the rest of his team, head resting on the divider between the seats with his legs curled up under him. His eyes were shut and there was a small furrow in-between his eyebrows showing that he wasn’t as relaxed as he seemed.

Feeling a nudge in his side, he glanced over and saw his teammate looking at him over the top of his sunglasses.

“Just go over to him”, Jev stated, shifting his gaze back to his phone.

Antonio sighed, while they’d never explicitly told anyone in Formula E about their relationship it had somehow become the worst kept secret amongst the drivers. He’d always been close with the dutch driver, even before their days as teammates. Even though they’d barely raced against each other before formula E, their paths had kept crossing since their early days in single-seaters. It wasn’t until the Red Bull test that they actually met and Antonio had immediately felt at ease with the other driver, their personalities meshing and by the end of the first day, Robin had already felt comfortable enough to fall asleep on Antonio’s shoulder.

Their friendship had developed from there and once they were in the same series, they started spending more and more time together, something that only increased once they were on the same team. He’d always had a soft spot for the man, even from when they first met but he’s feelings had never progressed beyond friendship until Robin had lost his seat for season 4 and they hadn’t been able to see each other as much. Antonio missed Robin and their talks more than he’d thought. Sure, they’d been able to call, but it hadn’t felt the same.

Once Robin had joined Envision, they’d fallen back into the same routine and Antonio decided that he never wanted to lose Robin from his life again. He’d taken to checking on the dutchman more and more, gently feeding the bromance rumours between the two and allowing the teasing from the other drivers. Eventually, it was a push from Sam at the New York end of season party that led to the two admitting their feelings for one another. Switching from a friendship to a romance felt as easy as breathing and Antonio had never felt happier than when he was cuddled up with Robin in a bed, on the sofa wherever. As long as it was just the two of them, they didn’t even need to speak, it was just spending time together.

Right now, that was just what Antonio wanted to do. Grab Robin and swaddle him in blankets away from the crowds. But he couldn’t, they were still in public and to make it even worse they were taking different flights home.

Whilst Antonio was musing, Sam had wandered over to his teammate, and was gently shaking his shoulder.

Antonio watched as Robin slowly blinked, pushing his eyes open and fixing them on his teammate. He couldn’t hear what Sam was saying but as he gestured towards the departure boards, he could guess it was about Robin’s flight. Not for the first time that day Antonio wished that he could go with Robin back to his house and spend the whole break together. Sadly his team had decided that for the first part of the break they would be working in the sim to make improvements so that when the season started again they were in the best shape.

Letting out a small huff as he watched Robin slowly push himself into a sitting position. S _crew it_ , Antonio thought as he pushed away from the wall and wandered over to the Envision drivers, not noticing Jev’s knowing smirk as he did.

As he got closer he began to hear what Sam was saying, “come on sunshine, your flights about to board.” Sam was gently cajoling Robin into a standing position, keeping his hands close to the man’s shoulders as he wobbled.

Antonio stepped between the two, ignoring Sam’s huff, and gently placed his arm around Robin’s waist. If possible, Robin looked even worse than when he’d seen him last, just before the race yesterday. After finishing up his celebrations with the team he’d headed for the Virgin garage only to be told that Robin had already left and then Robin hadn’t answered his hotel door. Eventually, he’d received a text from Robin stating that he’d fallen asleep and told Antonio to stay in his room so as not to catch his cold, which hadn't helped Antonio's concerns because it meant Robin had been feeling worse.

 _“_ Meu Querido, how are you feeling,” Antonio lifted his other hand to run it over Robin’s forehead, wincing at the heat he found there.

“Beroerd,” Robin muttered, causing Antonio and Sam to share a look, both clueless about what he meant. Antonio gently ran a soothing hand down Robin’s back, chewing his lip in concern.

“English sunshine, we don’t understand the hergy-flurgy language,” Sam joked.

Robin huffed, pushing away from Antonio’s arms while glaring at Sam, “awful,” he muttered.

“Do you want to go back to the hotel? We can get a flight in a few days,” Antonio pulled Robin’s attention away from his teammate and reached out again to try and pull his boyfriend back, but frowned when Robin sidestepped his hands, wobbling and prompting Sam to quickly steady him.

“No, we can't, you're leading the championship, you’ve got to go with the team,” Robin replied, avoiding Antonio’s gaze.

“Doesn’t matter, if you’re not feeling well -” his protest was cut off by Robin interrupting.

“You can’t ‘Toni, the team needs you.”

“As adorable as this is, the flight is almost done boarding so if you’re going sunshine then you’ve gotta head over,” Sam interjected.

Robin groaned slightly, before bending down to grab his bag and then turning to Antonio, “I’ll be fine, you’ve got other things to worry about, the team needs you.”

Antonio was left speechless by Robin behaviour allowing Sam to gently push him aside and letting his arm slip around Robins back, “I’ve got him man”, and when Antonio tried to protest Sam nodded towards where the Techeetah team were waiting, seeing several of them glancing over at the three of them. Unbeknownst to him, Robin had also noticed the stares from the Techeetah group and had turned away trying to pull Sam towards the gate.

Antonio reached out, managing to rest his hand on Robin’s arm and gently squeezing, “I’ll see you in a week meu querido, and please call me when you get home?”

Robin’s mouth quirked upwards and he gave a small nod, before allowing Sam to help lead him towards the boarding desk.

Antonio watched as Robin disappeared from view and Sam exchanged words with the flight attendant, before turning and heading back towards where his team was waiting, ignoring the stares he was getting.

“Wanna tell me why you aren’t going with him?” Jev questioned, still not looking up from his phone as Antonio settled down next to him.

“He didn’t want me to go with him, said the sim with the team was more important.”

“And you listened to him?”

Antonio paused, he hated hiding his relationship with Robin, wanted to be able to scream it from the rooftops but they couldn’t. Although FE had a more chill vibe compared to F1, or so he’d been told, there’d still never been an openly gay driver, and there had never been two drivers openly dating each other. Besides Robin had wanted to keep it private, stating he didn’t want anything to interfere with their feelings.

Antonio groaned, dropping his head to his hands. As he scrubbed his hands over his face, he noticed someone walking towards him, another groan slipping out when he realised it was Sam. The Englishman was fiercely protective of his teammate and Antonio had a feeling he was in for a telling off.

“What happened between the two of you? Care to explain why he didn’t want you anywhere near him?

“I don’t know Sam, he seemed fine yesterday.”

“Did something happen when you saw each other after the race?”

Antonio paused, leaning back in his chair and locking eyes with Sam, “I didn’t see him after the race, by the time I was done with the debrief he’d gone back to the hotel and then didn’t let me in.”

Sam frowned at that, “huh, I asked if he wanted to hang out because he seemed a little upset about his race, but he said he was meeting you.”

“Why would he lie about being with me?”

Jev cleared his throat, leaning forward in his seat and eyeing both of the drivers, “Maybe because it’s Robin.”

Antonio glanced at Sam who looked as confused as he did, “What do you mean its Robin?” he questioned.

His teammate rolled his eyes, “honnêtement” he muttered.

“Think about it this way, Robin isn’t the most open person in the world, even with you two he’s not a fan of the overly mushy stuff.” Jev paused, looking between the two of them but sighed, “what I’m trying to say since you two are obviously too thick to grasp it, is Robin doesn’t want to bother you – Antonio you’re leading the championship and Robin’s had more DNF’s than points finishes. Same for you Sam, he probably doesn’t want to annoy you by talking about how difficult his season is going.”

Finished, Jev leaned back again, attention back on this phone, leaving the two drivers to stare at each other in shock.

“I’ve fucked up, haven’t I?”

Sam patted Antonio’s shoulder, “If you fucked up, then I’ve fucked up even more. God how did we not notice.”

Antonio felt distraught, had he somehow made his boyfriend feel like he didn’t care? Did Robin feel like he couldn’t talk to him? What if Robin didn’t want to be together anymore.

Seemingly sensing Antonio’s internal conflict, Sam stated, “trust me he knows you care, and I know that he cares about you. It’s just some kind of misunderstanding.”

“But I should have noticed, I should have noticed that something was wrong.”

Jev chuffed from the other side of Sam, “trust me, if Sam wanted to blame you, you’d know, he’s got a protective teammate mode, trust me.”

Sam shot Jev the finger and turned his attention back to Antonio, “Look mate, as much as it pains me Jev’s right, it’s been a tough few races for us, he probably just didn’t want to take away any of your excitement.”

“But I don’t care about that, I’d give up the championship now if it meant that Robin would be happy.” Antonio’s voice rose during his statement, drawing a few stares from the people around them, and causing Sam to give a small smile.

“Well I know Robin wouldn’t want you to do that, but maybe when you go to visit next week you guys need to have a proper conversion about all this.”

Standing abruptly, he turned to Sam and said, “Why would I wait till next week, I’m going now, I need to fix this.”

Turning to Jev he told his teammate, “make up some excuse to tell the team, yeah?” He didn’t wait for confirmation before striding off towards the ticket desks. He had a relationship to save.

…….,……………………………………………………………………..

Finally, over six hours after last seeing Robin, Antonio finally arrived at Maastrict airport. As he searched for the English signs he reflected on his journey. After making his decision he had realised that the next flight wasn’t for two hours and had had to walk back to Sam and Jev to wait, much to their amusement. Which also meant he had to make an excuse to the team why he wasn’t going to Paris. He was pretty sure they hadn’t brought the excuse of Antonio realising that he had Robin’s phone but after a stern look from Jev no one had said anything. Hopefully, that was a sign that the team would have his back when they decided to go public with the relationship.

Whilst waiting for the flight, he’d been left to reflect over the last few races and his behaviour. Although he hadn’t meant to, he thought Sam was right and he’d been neglecting Robin slightly in his excitement. Going into Techeetah, a team that was solidly Jev’s had been frightening and when he ended up leading the championship, he was excited that he’d been able to prove himself. He knew Robin would have never pulled him away from any celebrations, but he now realised he hadn’t focused on Robin's season, the Dutchman brushing off his concern and Antonio had let it happen.

Cracking his neck, he headed for the taxi rank and got in the one at the front of the queue. After telling the driver the address, Antonio dropped his head back and closed his eyes, all he wanted to do was sleep but he wanted to make sure that Robin was okay first. Despite his promise the Dutchman hadn’t called when his flight had landed and hadn’t let him know when he was home. A further sign that there was something going on with Robin as it had always been an unspoken promise between the two that they do that.

Spending the drive thinking over what he was going to say and do once he was reunited with Robin, the drive was simultaneously too long and too short, and all too soon he was standing outside Robin’s house.

Pulling the key from his bag, Antonio hesitated. What if Robin wasn’t happy to see him? Gathering his strength and determination he unlocked the door, knocking softly as he did, just in case Robin was still awake and entered the house. He knew he needed to fix whatever was going on with his relationship, but first, he needed to take care of his sick boyfriend.

Antonio pushed open the door, stepping inside and dropping his bag. The ground floor of Robin’s house was completely dark, and Antonio stumbled as he made his way towards the stairs, still unfamiliar with the layout to know it in the dark. Carefully creeping up the stairs, trying not to make too much noise although every squeak of the floorboard sounded much louder considering the silence in the house.

As he reached the top of the stairs, he noticed a dim light coming from one of the rooms, the door at a slight angle. Poking his head around the door, Antonio felt his expression soften from what he saw. Robin was curled under several layers of blankets; the top of his head just barely noticeable and gentle snuffling snores was the only noise. The dim light in the room was coming from a small lamp on the bedside table, coating the room in a soft glow. Next to the lamp was a half-drunk glass of water and a packet of pills.

Entering the room, Antonio pulls off his jumper before carefully sitting at the edge of the bed and running his fingers through Robin’s hair. Up close the gentle snores sounded more like congested wheezing and Antonio winced at the sound. His frown also returned at feeling that Robin was hot to the touch. Pushing back the cover, he slipped into the bed next to Robin, sitting upright against the pillows and pulling Robin towards his chest. The other man stirred slightly but didn’t fully wake up at the movement, causing Antonio even further worry. Any thoughts of talking to Robin about his recent behaviour went out of the window and his heart ached that Robin might have been feeling that bad at the airport and hadn’t wanted to say anything. Glancing around he noticed a thermometer on the opposite table, next to a framed photo of Robin and Antonio from their Andretti days. The two of them had their arms around each other, both grinning into the camera.

Antonio chuckled softly as he grabbed the thermometer, _they looked so young,_ he mused. Shifting his grip on Robin, he gently stroked the side of his face and softly called his name, trying to wake him up.

“Robin…Come on Querido, I need you to wake up now.”

Robin groaned, his brow creasing as he shifted on Antonio’s chest.

“huh, wat.... wiens dat?” he slurred, voice thick with sleep.

“Robin it’s me, I really need you to wake up.” Antonio wasn’t sure what Robin was saying but he could sense the confusion in his voice and hoped it was the usual confusion that came with just waking up rather than being caused by the fever. He placed a kiss on his boyfriend's hair and shifted him so that Robin was lying against the pillows instead of his chest so that he could see his face.

“wie is daar?” Robin mumbled, eyes opening, and he fixed an unfocused gaze on Antonio. “Toni?” he questioned, blinking slowly while glancing around the room.

“Yes meu amo, it’s me,” Antonio reached out and carded his hand through Robin’s hair, “I’m here, I’ve got you.”

“Toni? Issit r-really you?”

Antonio tenderly reached out, cupping Robin’s face in his face while pressing a kiss to Robin’s forehead, “It’s me.” He replied. “I just need to check your temperature meu amo, you feel really warm to me.”

Robin didn’t fight against Antonio, still mostly asleep and instead just tried to curl further into his chest, making Antonio smile.

“ack, come on Robin, just give me a minute to do this and then we can cuddle,” He knew Robin wasn’t paying him any attention but still. It felt nice to hold Robin in his arms again, his surprise at the feeling once again informing him about the distance that had been growing between them right in front of his eyes.

The thermometer beeped, interrupting his thoughts. Lifting it towards the light so he could properly see the reading Antonio swore at what he saw. 39.5. Definitely a fever.

“Querido,” Antonio spoke while pulling back the covers and leaning over Robin’s drowsy form, “meu querido, we need to cool you down.”

Quickly pulling the numerous blankets away from Robin, ignoring the soft Dutch mutterings which must have been protests at the movement. Antonio knew it was important to try and get the dutchman’s temperature down, but he wasn’t sure what the best method would be. Sliding an arm behind his back, he lifted Robin into a seating position and grabbed the glass of water with the other. Gently encouraging Robin to drink the remainder of the liquid was a start but Antonio wasn’t sure what Robin had done to treat his illness before he arrived, and Robin wasn’t aware enough to tell him. The packet of pills looked untouched but Robin could have taken something else.

Chewing his lip, he considered his options before grabbing his phone and calling the one person who would know what to do, his mum.

After the quick conversation, in which his mother had told him he’d already done the right thing by removing the blankets and giving Robin water, Antonio felt much better about the situation. He was also thankful for having such a supportive family, as his mother had offered to come by and help almost immediately, despite being in the wrong country. The next step was trying to work out whether Robin had had any medication and trying to keep him hydrated until the fever broke.

Turning his attention back to Robin who had drifted back to sleep during his phone call, he ran his hand through Robin’s hair again, trying to reassure and ground himself. Once again, he was filled with feelings of guilt at allowing the situation to get this bad, if only he had left the airport with Robin, he would have been able to look after him from the beginning. Shaking his head, Antonio tried to push those thoughts to one side and gently attempted to rouse his boyfriend.

After plenty of cajoling, Antonio managed to wake Robin up enough to ask whether he’d taken anything when he’d gotten in, which he had not. Antonio also called it a success that he was able to get Robin to take the pills along with another two glasses of water which he hoped would keep him hydrated for now. Antonio had also made a cool bowl of water and was periodically soothing Robin’s forehead with a flannel. Robin had remained mostly asleep after taking the medicine and was currently tucked under Antonio’s arm, face pillowed on his chest, twitching every now and again but for the most part, sleeping fairly calmly. The peaceful nature of the moment combined with his boyfriends’ weight in his arms was enough to cause Antonio to slip into a light doze.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Antonio suddenly jolted awake, staring at the ceiling. Not sure at first what had woken him up he reached out arms seeking Robin, but his hand hit empty bedding. Jerking upright Antonio looked around the bedroom and couldn’t see Robin’s figure. Pushing the covers aside Antonio jumped out of the bed and quickly headed for the bathroom.

“Robin!” he called, pushing open the door, but he was met with an empty room. “Robin!” he called again, this time heading for the stairs. He could see lights on downstairs and he quickly ran down, jumping the last few and heading towards the kitchen. He skidded to a halt, breathing heavily when he didn’t see his boyfriend. Looking around the room again he spotted the door to the utility room was slightly ajar and there was a slither of light coming through. Antonio swiftly crossed the room and pushed the door open wider, stopping in disbelief at the scene in front of him.

Robin was sitting in front of the washing machine, his travel bag upended on the floor in front of him with the clothes spread around, half in and half out of the machine. Robin was clinging to an old BMW hoodie that Antonio had accidentally on purpose left behind one day because he’d seen how often Robin would wear it around the house.

Even from the door, Antonio could tell that Robin had been crying and that his fever had definitely not improved, in fact, he thought it must have gotten worse as Robin’s eyes were unfocused, his face was a blotchy red and he was shivering.

“Robin meu querido, can you hear me?” Antonio questioned as he slowly stepped forward and crouched down in front of the other man. Robin’s eyes locked on Antonio’s with an intensity that made him shiver, but it also seemed like Robin was looking through him and not at him.

Reaching out to cradle Robin's cheek, Antonio flinched at the heat coming from his boyfriend, even without the thermometer he could tell that the fever had risen.

“Robin, I’m going to help you up okay? We need to get you back to bed.” Moving his hands from Robin’s face to his hands, Antonio gently tugged on them to encourage Robin to stand but much to his shock Robin pulled his hands back,

“no, no, no, no, no,” the dutchman started murmuring, avoiding Antonio’s worried hands, “not real, niet echt, niet echt.” 

Heart-breaking at the words coming from Robin, Antonio dropped down, kneeling in front of him, once again taking Robin’s hands in his but this time just squeezing them gently. “I’m here Robin, I’m real, It’s okay.” Antonio repeated the phrase over and over, moving one of their joined hands to rest over Antonio’s heart, “I’m here, I’m real.”

Eventually, knees aching he scoped Robin into his arms, ignoring the small movements of protest shoving at his chest, and headed back up the stairs towards the master bathroom. Placing Robin on the floor next to the bath, Antonio quickly began running a lukewarm bath, hoping that it would help to reduce Robin’s fever.

Bath finished, Antonio turned his attention back to Robin who was wordlessly staring at him, every now and again still repeating that Antonio wasn’t real.

“Come on meu querido, we need to get you out of clothes, you’ll feel much better soon, I promise,” Antonio gently pressed a kiss to Robin’s forehead, willing his words to be true.

Antonio tenderly pulled Robin forward, reaching behind him to grab the bottom of Robin's Virgin shirt. Despite the fact that Robin was shivering the shirt was soaked with sweat and sticking to his back. As he began to lift the shirt, Robin suddenly leant forward, collapsing into Antonio’s chest. Taken aback by the abrupt movement, Antonio lost his balance and fell backwards, arms automatically moving to cradle Robin, feeling him shaking.

“Querido….. querido, shhhhhh it’s okay, it’s okay,” he said softly, soothingly running his hands up and down Robin’s back. Carefully he shifted the pair of them so that Antonio was sitting leaning against the wall and Robin was in his lap. The dutchman’s face was buried in Antonio’s neck, arms gripping his waist tightly, a sharp contrast to earlier.

“I’m not going anywhere Robin, it’s okay,” he soothed, his worry over Robin's behaviour starting to rise again.

At his words, Robin leaned back and fisted his hands in Antonio’s shirt, his face flushed with fever, but his eyes looked more aware than when they were in the utility room.

“You’re not here though, and you’re leaving,” Robin choked on a sob as he uttered that, sounding more like himself, before burrowing back into Antonio’s neck.

Antonio was left dumbstruck and all he could do was attempt to soothe his boyfriend and calm him down, the crying coming from his boyfriend breaking his heart, “shhh, shhhhhh.”

Shifting Robin slightly so he could look him in the eye, Antonio questioned “where am I going meu querido?”

Through the sobs, Robin choked out, “You’re leaving me! You’re too good to be with a loser like me.”

Feeling tears gathering in his eyes, Antonio could do nothing but hold Robin closer, too upset with himself to even attempt soothing. Slowly he could hear and feel Robin’s crying begin to lessen and heard him whisper something that shattered Antonio's heart.

“It’s s’okay ‘Toni, I’ve been expecting it. ‘m just glad I get to feel your hugs again, even if they aren’t real.”

Choking back his own sobs at that, he simply clutched Robin closer, burying his nose in Robin’s hair, trying to ground himself in the familiar scent of Robin’s shampoo.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, the two of them just sat on Robin’s bathroom floor before he attempted to move them again. This time his attempts to undress Robin were successful, the other man asleep once again, dried tear tracks clear against his flushed face. Pulling off his own shirt and boxers, Antonio picked Robin up again and settled the both of them into the bath, holding Robin tight against his chest.

Resting his chin on Robin’s shoulder, he allowed his eyes to slip shut as he went over everything that had just happened. Had his behaviour over the past couple of races really convinced Robin that he was going to leave? Had he really not been paying Robin enough attention and failed to notice that he was feeling that bad? He felt some tears begin to leak out in frustration, he felt like a failure as a boyfriend.

Exhaling deeply, he turned his attention back to the present, he had to focus on keeping Robin’s fever down and after he was feeling better they could have a long long conversation about everything. Antonio knew one thing for sure, he had followed after Robin for a reason and he wasn’t going to leave until the dutchman knew exactly how much Antonio loved him.

After keeping Robin in the bath for a while longer, far past the water turning cold and their bodies beginning to prune just to make sure the fever was down. Towelling his boyfriend off, he carried him back through into the bedroom and manages to convinced a mostly asleep Robin to take some more medicine and drink more water. Dressing the older man in one of his own Techeetah shirts, Antonio took a moment to enjoy the fact that it was slightly too long for the shorter man. A part of him finding it cute how big it was and the possessive part of him just liking seeing Robin in his clothes. Wrapping them both in a blanket, he cuddled Robin close to his chest settling against the pillows in bed.

With Robin sleeping and nothing else to distract him Antonio couldn’t help but wonder how it had gotten so bad. The start of a season was always busy and it was their first time tackling it as a couple but surely he hadn’t been so self-involved that he’d completely missed Robin’s feelings. However, the current situation suggested otherwise. Robin wouldn’t have just started feeling like this for no reason. He knew his boyfriend had been having a tough season, and he knew how hard it was to go through something like that, but it was also a very Robin trait to keep his feelings to himself. It was something he’d noticed all the way through their friendship - Robin preferred dealing with his feelings in private but he’d always been able to get Robin to talk to him. He’d always just assumed Robin felt comfortable with him, and looking back Antonio realised that normally he didn’t even have to try that hard to get Robin to open up. Normally just an evening alone by themselves was enough. _Ah_ , Antonio thought, _ever since he’d joined Techeetah he’d had less alone time with Robin_.

Of course, they’d still talked often on the phone, and face-timed daily but it wasn’t the same as being together in person. And Antonio acknowledged that they hadn’t been able to spend as much time together since the season started. He knew he’d had to rearrange their date nights a little but Robin had always seemed supportive, encouraging Antonio to put more work into the team to better their results. It had been Robin that told Antonio to spend the time in between Diriyah and Santiago with the team instead of with him, telling Antonio that he had a chance with a top team and he shouldn’t waste it. In hindsight he’d maybe agreed to that a little quicker than he should have, giving up time with his boyfriend in the holiday season without much consideration towards what Robin would do with the time.

After his podium in Chile, he’d sought Robin out, stating that it was Robin pushing him to spend extra time in the sim which made him better. Robin had simply smiled and said that he’d always been good, and he finally had the car to show it. Maybe he’d been too over-excited about his change in form that he hadn’t pushed too hard when Robin had brushed away his concern about his race. And then in Mexico, the same thing had happened, Robin avoiding the questions and turning the conversation back to Antonio and his podium. And then yesterday Robin had blown him off after his win, sure the Dutch driver had come and congratulated him but then vanished. At least it was the prompting he needed to re-assess their relationship. To Antonio, it hadn’t seemed like they were drifting apart but maybe from Robin’s view they had been. Normally he wouldn’t say that Robin was a jealous person but maybe the fact that Antonio had been doing so well compared to Robin played into the situation. It was natural really, all drivers wanted to win and sometimes seeing close friends succeed left a sour taste, especially if your own season wasn’t going so well.

It pained Antonio to see Robin having such tough luck, he’d always thought of the Dutchman as one of the best drivers on the grid but unfortunately Robin either had luck on his side or not at all. When it was good, Robin was fantastic, unbeatable. But when it was bad, nothing seemed to go right and there was nothing that could be done, just bad luck after bad luck. But he normally didn’t let it get to him but certainly whatever Robin had going through his head had been brewing for a while and it had just taken the fever to bring it all to the surface.

Antonio sighed, gazing down at his boyfriend, Robin now finally sleeping peacefully and feeling cooler to the touch, showing the medicine was doing its job. He almost didn’t want to fall asleep again, didn’t want to risk a repeat of the earlier situation but the soft warmth of Robin’s body and little snuffles coaxed Antonio into a light sleep, arms tightening around Robin as he drifted off.

……………………………………………………………

Much like last time, Antonio jolted awake, wondering for a split second what had woken him before he heard soft swearing and realised that he was soaking wet. Quickly shifting his lower half to rule out the most embarrassing explanation, he soon registered that it was just his top half that was wet. Blinking his eyes open he saw Robin frantically dabbing at his chest with a towel.

“Wha...what's happening?” he mumbled, voice still thick from sleep. 

At his words, Robin froze, slowly turning to look at him. Antonio couldn’t help the smile that slipped out at Robin’s slightly confused expression, his boyfriend's hair messy from sleep but most importantly his eyes seemed clear meaning the fever was hopefully gone. However, the smile quickly slid from his face as he remembered everything that had happened.

“Antonio, I ah...was just ah…” Robin trailed off, wordlessly holding an empty glass up and Antonio nodded as he understood what had happened. Robin must have woken up and tried to drink from the glass Antonio had left on the side but somehow tipped it all over Antonio instead. Luckily none of the water seemed to be on the bed, the majority soaking through Antonio’s shirt.

They sat there for a second in silence, Robin stubbornly avoiding Antonio’s gaze and it wasn’t until Antonio opened his arms, a silent invitation for cuddles that he finally looked up. But instead of diving forward into the arms like he normally would, he bit his lip, looking away again.

“Robin?” Antonio questioned, worry bleeding through into his tone.

The Dutch driver sighed, playing with a loose thread on the blanket.

“Why are you here Antonio?” he whispered.

“Robin I...where else would I be meu docinho? I got the next flight from Morocco after you left.”

“You didn’t have to,” Robin replied, still not looking at Antonio.

This time it was Antonio who sighed, brows furrowing as Robin winced at the sound. Leaning forward, he reached out and cupped Robin’s jaw, gently turning it so that he was looking at him, humming as he still felt some heat on his boyfriend's skin.

“Robin, you were sick, you still are sick. I should have come back with you yesterday rather than making you fly alone, I’m sorry.” Antonio felt tears prick the back of his eyes, his apology barely scratching the surface of all the things he felt he needed to say sorry for.

Robin stared back at him, reaching a hand up to wipe away a tear that had fallen, “‘Toni...what's wrong?” 

_Typical Robin,_ Antonio thought, _even after everything he’s still thinking about everyone else.”_

“I think I should be asking you that, meu querido,” he replied, carding a hair through Robin’s hair, messing it up even more than it already was, a small smile playing on his lips as Robin leaned into the touch. “I’m not sure how much you remember from last night, but I think there’s a lot that we should talk about,” Antonio continued.

Once again Robin dropped his gaze, face flushing red, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He pulled away from Antonio, moving to the end of the bed and making to stand up but wobbling hard and falling back onto the bed. 

“Robin! Careful, you’re still unwell,” Antonio scrambled forward, trying to support Robin but the Dutchman pulled away again, “Robin please,” Antonio pleaded. 

“I remember what I said Antonio, it’s okay you don’t have to try and make me feel better, you can just go,” Robin muttered sadly.

“Get it through your thick skull Robin, I’m not going anywhere, I love you,” Antonio almost shouted, tears beginning to stream down his face as he faced losing his boyfriend.

“You what…” Robin whispered and Antonio realised what he’d said. Although he’d know he loved Robin for years that was the first time he’d said it aloud to the other man.

“I said I love you, I love you, Amo-te, Ik hou van je, I love you, and I’m not going to let you push me away,” he declared. “Robin I’m never going to leave, you’re stuck with me now. I’d give up anything to make you happy, hell I’d even give up racing - I know I’ve been self-obsessed lately and I’m sorry but I’d give up right now if you asked.” Out of breath at his statement, Antonio looked imploringly at Robin, trying to express all his love and adoration through his eyes.

Robin just looked at him in shock, “No Toni, no, I never want you to stop racing - racing is what makes you, you. It’s your heart.”

“You’re my heart, Robin.”

“No Toni, stop it, I know how much you love racing, I could never take it away from you.”

Antonio opened his arms again and this time Robin fell forward, collapsing into Antonio's arms. Antonio tightened his arms about him, holding his close, both men just taking in the other's presence for a second.

After a minute Antonio pulled back, capturing Robin’s lips in a soft kiss feeling Robin sag slightly under him. 

Breaking away, Antonio pressed a quick kiss to Robin’s nose before asking, “Robin, please, can we talk about everything? I know I’ve been acting distant but why didn’t you force me to listen?”

Robin looked up at Antonio through his lashes, chewing on his bottom lip before sighing softly, “I didn’t want to ruin your happiness, you’ve been doing so well, I didn't want to drag you down by me being miserable -”

“But I’m unhappy if you’re unhappy,” Antonio broke in watching as Robin rolled his eyes slightly.

“I know, that’s why I didn’t want to burden you with it, it's not your fault my season’s going so rubbish.” As Robin paused Antonio went to interrupt again but Robin stopped him with a look before continuing, “and I know you would have made me feel better but I just…” he trailed off not knowing how to explain his feelings.

“Take your time, meu docinho,” Antonio said, running a hand down Robin’s arms.

“It’s just…” Robin paused again, gathering his thoughts, “I got close to you too before and then I lost my seat – I don’t know if I could survive the distance again if I lost my seat,” he finally admitted.

“But why would you lose your seat,” Antonio questioned.

“I’ve been doing so badly, I wouldn’t blame the team for wanting a better driver.”

“You haven’t been doing badly, you’ve just had bad luck. There’s a difference. And the team wouldn’t be able to find a better driver,” Antonio argued, looking Robin dead in the eye so he knew he was being serious. “You’re not losing your seat, and you’re not losing me, okay?”

Waiting for Robin to nod before pulling him in for a deeper kiss, this time his tongue pressing against Robin’s, revealing in the small moans the shorter man was letting out. 

The moment was broken by a large rumble and Robin pulled back, blush returning to his face. Antonio giggled as he realised what the sound was. Urging Robin back up the bed, Antonio quickly fluffed the pillows before pressing Robin back against them, tucking the covers around him.

Pressing another kiss against Robin’s temple, Antonio stood up pulling his still wet t-shirt off and throwing it to the corner of the room, smirking as he saw Robin’s eyes rake up and down his chest. 

“I’m going to make us some food, stay put and try not to fall asleep before I come back,” Antonio said teasingly, giggling again at the annoyed expression on Robin’s face.

Turning away he made it to the door before he heard Robin’s voice again. 

“Antonio...estou apaixonado por você.”

Antonio didn’t think anything could make him feel happier than that phrase, feeling his body fill with a warmth he’d never experienced before.

“Eu também te amo Robin.”

**Author's Note:**

> My first work in this fandom - I started writing this during Berlin last year and then just...stopped. 
> 
> I just get the softest vibes from Robin and such protective vibes from Antonio - and it was meant to just be Antonio taking care of Robin but of course, I had to make it a little angsty. I didn't even do the breakfast part 😂
> 
> I used google translate and a few websites for all the Portuguese and dutch phrases, so apologies if they aren't perfect 
> 
> Portuguese =  
> Meu querido - my dear  
> Meu docinho - my sweet  
> estou apaixonado por você. - I'm in love with you  
> “Eu também te amo - I love you too
> 
> Dutch -  
> Beroerd - lousy  
> Ik hou van je - I love you  
> wiens dat - whose that  
> wie is daar - who is there 
> 
> As always, comments and Kudos are love -  
> My tumblr is [fireessie](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/fireessie) come say hi ☺️


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